What I learned from Modest Mouse

Float On - Modest Mouse

I backed my car into a cop car, the other day.

Well he just drove off, sometimes life's ok.

I ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh what did I say.

Well you just laughed it off, it was all ok.

And we'll all float on, ok. And we'll all float on, ok.

And we'll all float on, ok. And we'll all float on any way, well.

A fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam.

It was worth it just to learn some sleight-of-hand.

Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands.

Good news will work its way to all them plans.

We both got fired on exactly the same day.

Well we'll float on good news is on the way.

And we'll all float on, ok.

And we'll all float on, ok. And we'll all float on, ok.

And we'll all float on, alright. Already we'll all float on.

Translation: We'll have our ups, we'll have our downs... but we'll all float on to better things eventually. Keep your head up... we'll all Float on.

dear 16 year old self...

Hey it's me, from your 30 year old future. I have some things to tell you that I think you should know before you do them.

1.) Remember that no matter what, your parents have your interest at heart.

2.) Don't graduate next year.

3.) Go ahead and enjoy his company now. You will marry him, you will get divorced, but you'll end up okay.

4.) Learn to take care of kids early. You'll thank me later for this when you are raising three of them.

5.) Go to college. No ifs, ands or buts. Quit being lazy.

6.) Pay attention in math.

7.) You are beautiful. You'll appreciate your figure when you turn 30 and have had three kids.

8.) Don't worry about what people say about you. They grow just as old as you and have the same problems. (Some of them get fat, old and bald... you'll see).

9.) Appreciate your high school experience. You'll miss it.

10.) Get a summer job. Like I said, quit being lazy.

11.) Pay attention to the guys at ROTC summer camp. You'll fall in love with one of them one day.

If life were easy, and not so fast...

... I wouldn't think about the past." - Roggae: Phish

I remember the first time I heard that song. I was recovering from a major bout of depression and realized that I'd gotten myself into something that I had no idea if I could come back from. Eventually I made it out alive but it makes me wonder what brought me to that point in my life. Was it out of selfishness or was it something I couldn't handle? Either way, for four years of my life, I dealt with something and it sucked.

But I sit here today, totally free of all my medication and free of all the troubles and heartache that I not only caused myself, but those closest to me.

I'm beginning to get frustrated again though. I don't know if it's boredom taking over again or the need to for something different in my life. I'm trying to not pay it any attention but I really, really want out of the job I currently hold. I know I'm worth more than what I'm getting paid and it sucks to sit in that office day in and day out and know that I'm not going to make any more money. I guess that's why I force myself to work so hard so I don't have to endure all of it for the rest of my life. So far, I'm on the right path and I'm proud of myself. I'm just trying to stick with it and hopefully it'll get better.

Then maybe, just for once, I can stop thinking about the past.